December 2011
PLZ DO NOT START THINKING YOU CAN CALL ME NOONEY
That’s for my nieces and nephews and Sam only.
Five internet crushes for 2011
samhumphries:
[redacted]
Dylan Todd
Nooney
[tie] Jess Burke and Owen Brazas
And for 2012, I’m sure.
Goal for 2012: -Find redacted and MURDER HER
I get how airplanes work, but also I don't. Like,...
tphd:
(SOMETIMES I PICTURE YOU GIGGLING AT A SIGN THAT SAYS “NO GIGGLING”
YOU ARE AGAINST THE LAW)
What's wrong with me?
Me: I wub you, Preston.
Preston: I love you, too.
Me: But do you wub me?
Preston: [vacant stare]
Me: I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing.
Preston: So, anyway...
1 tag
Ron: Ann was getting a little chummy. When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
April: That's a really nice move.
Ron: Thank you.
April: You're welcome, Lester.
“If you forget where you come from, you never gonna make it where you...”
– Ghostface Killah, All That I Got Is You
1 tag
Jen: So, if someone knocks on your door you all just sit there?
Moss: Yes.
Jen: Why not just answer it?
Moss: This is London, Jen. It's not going to be someone with cake. Unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives.
“Look at me. Beautiful. Look at you. Not so much.”
– Nathan, Misfits
Change
Try not to make the mistake of thinking a person will change because you want them to. People do change, but it’s rare and it’s never for someone else. They’ll change something if they don’t like it. And it’ll take them a while to fully change. Just be careful out there.
“Hey, schmoopy. You’re schmoopy. Schmooooopy. I shouldn’t be leaving...”
– Voicemail from my BFF Ed
2 tags
“And I can’t find the words to make it sound unique…but…
Honestly, you make me...”
– Kate Nash, I Hate Seagulls
“Sadness is a blessing
Sadness is a pearl
Sadness is my boyfriend
Oh, sadness,...”
– Lykke Li, Sadness Is a Blessing
“I like to hold myself to an impossible standard of beauty so I don’t...”
– Some Women for Some Reason
“Peace lily is good because it doesn’t take a lot of care but it filters...”
– Sam Humphries, adorable plant expert
“Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and...”
– Christopher Hitchens
I never wanna be That Girl/Guy...
The one who gets a boyfriend/girlfriend and they become attached at the hip and no longer have their own lives and become mad co-dependent. That shit is not cute. I can’t think of anything sadder.
That thing where you can't get out of bed because...
everything in the sky: I know you’re tired of... →
everythinginthesky:
I know you’re tired of hearing about Louis CK’s new $5 sketch thing. “It’s a great model”, “I hear Hollywood’s so afraid of him now”, “Check out his Reddit thing”, yadda yadda. I know. I know you’re tired of hearing about it. Because I am too. The thing I haven’t seen much of though, and the thing…
This is what I wanted to see more of. Everything else just equals...
I just smoked weed in front of my mom for the...
She looked at me kinda weird and then I screamed, “IT’S MEDICINE! IT’S MY MEDICINE! DO YOU WANT ME TO LIVE?”
So that’s my day. How are you?
a-whole-nude-world:
“Let Me See Your Hips Swing”...
