The last thing I thought about before I went to sleep and the first thing I thought about when I woke up was the suicides of young kids lately. I know they are all related to them being gay, but I feel like it’s an issue for all kids.

The first time I ever considered killing myself I was nine. Think about that for a second. I was nine years old. My parents were arguing constantly and nobody would tell me why. At school I was constantly mocked for having cheap clothes cos we weren’t rich. I was teased for doing well in school. I was pushed up against brick walls and screamed at by my peers. Just because I didn’t dress like them and I understood the curriculum and performed well. So, I started pretending I didn’t get it. Pretending to be stupid to make them like me. Then they would tease me for being stupid and call me retarded. There was no way to win.

My point is this. We put children in school for seven or eight hours a day. During that time they are treated like garbage by various people. Either teachers or other kids or bus drivers or lunch assistants. I couldn’t even list all the things that were said to me in a single day to make me feel like I didn’t deserve to breathe the air these people were breathing.

It does get better. It’s very unfortunate that the only thing we can tell these kids is that it all ends one day. One day you’ll find people that love you for who you are. One day you won’t feel different. One day you’ll feel special and beautiful and rad as fuck. One day you’ll know who you always were. And it’s amazing. But I don’t think you should have to go through years of torment cos “that’s just how it is for everyone.”

This shouldn’t be a normal childhood experience. Childhood isn’t meant to make you feel worthless and like you should just kill yourself. Nobody should ever feel that way.

What am I going to do about it? Well, as many of you know, I homeschooled my son. But now he’s back in public schools cos he lives with his dad while I’m in school. This weekend Preston comes home. I plan to discuss bullying and how to be a supportive friend with him. Not just if the person is gay, lesbian, bi or trans. But no matter what the person’s issue and why they’re being teased. My child will know how to stand up and say something. How to make sure everyone he knows understands they’re not alone and never will be again. I’ll make sure he knows how very much he is loved. How I would do anything for him. How no matter what our circumstances, he’s the biggest thing in my world.

I’ll also tell him it gets better when he gets older. But I’ll make sure he knows it can be better now. And for it to be better, every one of us have to be the change we want to see.